bogwitch64: (Default)
Maybe because I'd just come home from California.
Maybe because I came home to no power.
Maybe because we had no power for eight days.
Maybe because once power was restored, it took days to resettle into life.
Maybe because the drama never seems to end around here.
Maybe, maybe, maybe--they're all valid reasons why I forgot, why I let the day pass without commemorating it in some way, why, after 26 years, the first thing I did not think of on November 9th was, "Brian's dead 26 years."

But I did forget. Until today. And it makes my stomach hurt even if I know it's worse to hold on than it is to let go.
bogwitch64: (Default)
For those of you who read my guest post over on Ruby Slippers, Jamie remembered this scene from HP and the Deathly Hallows, and it exactly explains my not-dreams:

Harry says (of his conversation with a dead Dumbledore), "'Tell me one last thing . . . Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?'

And Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring [Dumbledore's] figure.

"'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real.'"
bogwitch64: (Default)

This one is by way of a guest post on a friend's blog. Jamie asked me if I'd like to share some of my "magic" with her readers. This is what came of it: Those Darned Ruby Slippers

There was no UFFDA today. With the holiday, I got precious little done--I think about 1500 words. I'm just going to add them to next week's UFFDA report and feel ever-so-much more accomplished for the extra words.

Have a great weekend, duckies!

bogwitch64: (Default)
It happens every year. I don't consciously think about it, but my unconscious brain must be saturated with memory seeping up from the dark places I stuff them. I've been dreaming about Brian, thinking about him, wondering why in heck am I so--??? Oh, yes. His birthday.

Usually, I'll remember a few days before, acknowledge it and move on as I have been doing for 24 years now. This year, it didn't hit me until today--kind of like a ton of proverbial bricks. I'm there. It's then. It passes. I'm fine. Just hit me harder, because it just smacked me in the face when I ripped off the calendar page and saw the date. 

It's a fact of life, one I learned to live with long ago, even if that's sometimes harder than others. Now I'll go upstairs and write.

So, Happy Birthday, Brian!


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